What's Next?

     Now that we had decided to move forward with the adoption process everything seemed to move very quickly. I immediately thought back to the guest speaker at our previous church and went to that agency's website for more information. As I was looking at checklists and paperwork to be completed, I became extremely overwhelmed. That feeling became more intense when I saw that the next training session was in six days. There was no way that we would be able to get everything together in time to attend the training, we would have to wait three months until the next session. I went to Eric with the bad news, he looked at me and said, "if we are going to do this, let's do it!" So, I signed up and we attended our first twelve-hour training class on October 30, 2010.

     Our first class was extremely eye opening, it changed our minds about everything we thought we knew. We went into it thinking we knew exactly what we had signed up for and exactly what we wanted. We were not even going to consider fostering, we were only interested in straight adoption. After all, it would be way too hard on us to bring a child into our home, fall in love with them, only to have to let them go. One hour into training and our minds had been changed. We went into this wanting to serve and wanting to be the hands, feet, and voice of Jesus for these broken children. What we realized is that we were wanting to do this on our terms. It did not take long for us to understand that, that is not the way it works, we can't say okay God we will do this but we want to do it our way. How can we say no, when we have a loving home to give a hurting child. Ultimately, we want to adopt, we want to give a child a forever home and a forever family. If God gives us a child for a week, a month, or even a year and then they go back to their parents or whomever, we have to know and trust that this is His will and part of His plan. Will it break our hearts? Without a doubt, but, how long is not up to us. All we can do is love and care for them for the amount of time we are given.

"Heal my heart and make it clean
Open my eyes to things unseen
Show me how to love like You loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am for Your Kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth to eternity"